So long, Hara

Hara the hamster died past 12:30pm today, 30th April 2012.

I woke up around 9:30 when my mother told me the hamster is dead. How could that be when she was fine yesterday? I went back to sleep with this sad news.

I got out of bed around 11am, and I was too terrified to check on her. I saw her cage in the living room, beside the sofa, they put her cage there, near the fan. She was lying down, having a hard time breathing. My mother said my brother fed her early in the morning and then she had "seizures," she was shaking or something. She kept having those shakes, my mother said. And my father said she made sounds, like a mouse.

I told my husband all these and he wanted me to bring her to the vet. I am not sure what the vet can do and it costs 400 pesos to have her checked. Human doctors only costs 200 pesos minimum for consultation. But my husband insisted. He said we Filipinos are cold-hearted -_-

I looked for a box to put her in, but deep down, I think I was just wasting time, waiting for Hara's last breath.

And also, while in the living room, before I went to look for a box, my four-year-old nephew brushed the cage and the PVC pipe that served as Hara's house fell on her. I hurriedly took it away and saw that her eyes were open, but spacey, like as if she's dead. But she was still breathing.

I still took my time, I went to eat, argued with my husband. Told him what my family thought. When they found out I was taking her to the vet, they were all like "a hamster costs 100 pesos, bringing her to the vet costs 400 pesos," implying that we'll just get a new one. And I also told my husband that she'll be dead by the time I'll arrive at the vet. It's noon, the heat and the transportation will agitate/stressed the hamster more. My husband said that he's disappointed with the Filipinos' cold-hearted carelessness. He said I'll let him and our kids suffer in the future. -_-;

Are we really cold-hearted? We'd let a life pass by? He said I did not take care of Hara properly. Tsk.

Before, when we'd lost a dog, I'd feel bad and regret. I promised Panda, my last dog, that I'll save money to buy her dog food and treats. But I was never able to. The dog pound got her and my mother didn't allow me to buy her back from the pound. She died a sad, lonely, terrible death.

I am proud that I was able to buy Hara a new wheel, food and vitamins. I changed her bedding twice a week, though I didn't give her fresh water daily (coz of the vitamins). I played with her every night and let her roam and explore our house. I put her in the room with the a/c during the afternoons, the hottest time of the day. I'd give her something to chew on, like wood and paper.

But still, I should have brought her to the vet last April 15/17 just to make sure. She died a slow and painful death. Poor Hara.

Hara, wherever you and the other animals are, I hope you won't suffer like you did here. I hope you lived a full life.