I am drowning in assignments and lacking sleep and exercise in the process.
I need to learn how to manage my time. I just had a talk with a classmate, one of those utterly quiet guys in class, and I learned why he's not in class that often. He studies on his own and has taught himself a lot of things related to this course and still have time to finish his assignments on time. Amazing!
I got so many projects that have been waiting for years for me to finish or to actualize them. So sad.
Stop wasting time, Rai.
26 September 2013
08 May 2013
Self-destructive
Yesterday, I did something crazy. But I don't want to detail it here.
Nagpakaulaw lang ko.
Hubby is not getting over it, coz I hurt him. I tried hurting myself, but as usual, ended up hurting him more. And the more I see him hurt, the more I want to hurt myself. Kakapoy.
I'll seek a way to end this self-destructive behavior. I don't want us hurt anymore.
07 May 2013
oh canada
I forgot to write about coming here to Canada. I'll write about that later.
Just wanna remind myself that I should not make a lot of complaints. I'll just write it down here. Sometimes, it's better not to write it at all so that I won't have to think about it and accidentally say it out loud. That will just cause trouble.
Like for today. *sigh*
I'll just shut up and write things down later.
Just wanna remind myself that I should not make a lot of complaints. I'll just write it down here. Sometimes, it's better not to write it at all so that I won't have to think about it and accidentally say it out loud. That will just cause trouble.
Like for today. *sigh*
I'll just shut up and write things down later.
25 February 2013
2013, so far
I think this is my first entry for the new year.
I meant to write an entry last week, when I cut my hair, but I got lazy. Maybe I'll do that later.
Anyways, I felt down and disappointed because I've been looking forward to work for TPC. Now, that I am given a chance, thanks to Eva and Glen, Seb won't let me, for various reasons. First, he doesn't want me to go to Manila (coz it's dangerous). And second, I "might" get my visa, "soon." How "soon" is that? No idea.
This blasted waiting for the visa to arrived has ruined our lives, sort of. We've been waiting and waiting, even spent a couple of thousands on school so that I could finish before the visa arrives. It also has made looking for a job difficult, because I feel like I can't give my all coz I might leave anytime. Sheesh. So much for expectations.
And oh yeah, I just turned 29 last Friday. Not so much fan fare. The usual. We had shrimp for dinner, and mamon, and strawberries and ice cream on Saturday. Nothing really special.
I got so much to be worried, but I don't want to. And all this waiting is wrecking havoc on Seb's health. Poor hubby. I feel so distant from him sometimes, like I think I am not comforting him enough. Poor hubby.
Anyways, I hope to get my visa soon, like a month or two. In the meantime, I'm gonna spend my time wisely. Like wake up early and help my mother with chores. Practice drawing, practice A LOT. Take lots of photos. Help Pauline, Petria and Bordz with school. FINISH THE PHOTO PROJECTS. Damnit, that's been super duper delayed.
Yeah, gotta make use of myself instead of moping around.
That's it for now. Pictures of new hair will be for later.
I meant to write an entry last week, when I cut my hair, but I got lazy. Maybe I'll do that later.
Anyways, I felt down and disappointed because I've been looking forward to work for TPC. Now, that I am given a chance, thanks to Eva and Glen, Seb won't let me, for various reasons. First, he doesn't want me to go to Manila (coz it's dangerous). And second, I "might" get my visa, "soon." How "soon" is that? No idea.
This blasted waiting for the visa to arrived has ruined our lives, sort of. We've been waiting and waiting, even spent a couple of thousands on school so that I could finish before the visa arrives. It also has made looking for a job difficult, because I feel like I can't give my all coz I might leave anytime. Sheesh. So much for expectations.
And oh yeah, I just turned 29 last Friday. Not so much fan fare. The usual. We had shrimp for dinner, and mamon, and strawberries and ice cream on Saturday. Nothing really special.
I got so much to be worried, but I don't want to. And all this waiting is wrecking havoc on Seb's health. Poor hubby. I feel so distant from him sometimes, like I think I am not comforting him enough. Poor hubby.
Anyways, I hope to get my visa soon, like a month or two. In the meantime, I'm gonna spend my time wisely. Like wake up early and help my mother with chores. Practice drawing, practice A LOT. Take lots of photos. Help Pauline, Petria and Bordz with school. FINISH THE PHOTO PROJECTS. Damnit, that's been super duper delayed.
Yeah, gotta make use of myself instead of moping around.
That's it for now. Pictures of new hair will be for later.
22 October 2012
nobody dies a virgin
coz life fucks us all?
hahaha nah.
this post is not about that.
a friend of mine got deflowered. october 19, 2012, mark that on your calendars. hahaha. coz finally, my conservative, boyish, homebody of a friend finally has a bf and they had sex. yeah! no holdbacks here.
i feel like a very proud mother hen, or duck, or whichever. i think i'm gonna cry, with joy of course! hahaha. silly me.
don't mind me. i am just overjoyed here.
and she told me all the details of what happened. now i am having vivid dreams of her body. O_O yeah, i had a terrible crush on her since i first laid my eyes on her back when i was six-years-old. oh well...
i am just happy for her. now i truly feel she's a grown up and she can handle herself on her own (even though she's 2 years older than me). i should stop obsessing over her.
anyways. my husband and i need practice :P
hahaha nah.
this post is not about that.
a friend of mine got deflowered. october 19, 2012, mark that on your calendars. hahaha. coz finally, my conservative, boyish, homebody of a friend finally has a bf and they had sex. yeah! no holdbacks here.
i feel like a very proud mother hen, or duck, or whichever. i think i'm gonna cry, with joy of course! hahaha. silly me.
don't mind me. i am just overjoyed here.
and she told me all the details of what happened. now i am having vivid dreams of her body. O_O yeah, i had a terrible crush on her since i first laid my eyes on her back when i was six-years-old. oh well...
i am just happy for her. now i truly feel she's a grown up and she can handle herself on her own (even though she's 2 years older than me). i should stop obsessing over her.
anyways. my husband and i need practice :P
27 September 2012
crossroads
A few minutes ago, I cried.
I'm currently reading "Perks of Being a Wallflower" and some parts made me cry. Not the scene, but something in my life made me cry. But maybe because I was able to relate to the scene.
The scene is when Charlie's grandfather was talking about his experience as a 16-year-old and he went to look for work at a sawmill and the things he sacrificed for his family and the things that he wanted them to have like a college education.
It reminded me of my own father and his current dilemma and the things he has done for us.
Right now, he's worried about my mother's health and our land.
My mother was told by a doctor today that she needs to have an operation to remove her ovaries and uterus. Not sure why.
And our land now costs Php 12,500 per square meter, which means our land of 160+ sq. m. now costs Php 2 million plus.
My father, who had a bit of alcohol when he came home, told me about my mother. I raised my voice at him, telling him that we'll get a second opinion from my doctor, to verify if she needs a surgery. I felt bad raising my voice to him. He means well.
And also, I am the first person in my family to get a college/university degree. I am just happy and grateful to my parents and to Seb most especially.
I am just grateful of my parents. I prayed to God that He won't take my parents yet, that I need to repay them back for all the sacrifices and blessings they've given me. I am also thankful to God for all the things He gave me. Just grateful, very grateful.
I'm currently reading "Perks of Being a Wallflower" and some parts made me cry. Not the scene, but something in my life made me cry. But maybe because I was able to relate to the scene.
The scene is when Charlie's grandfather was talking about his experience as a 16-year-old and he went to look for work at a sawmill and the things he sacrificed for his family and the things that he wanted them to have like a college education.
It reminded me of my own father and his current dilemma and the things he has done for us.
Right now, he's worried about my mother's health and our land.
My mother was told by a doctor today that she needs to have an operation to remove her ovaries and uterus. Not sure why.
And our land now costs Php 12,500 per square meter, which means our land of 160+ sq. m. now costs Php 2 million plus.
My father, who had a bit of alcohol when he came home, told me about my mother. I raised my voice at him, telling him that we'll get a second opinion from my doctor, to verify if she needs a surgery. I felt bad raising my voice to him. He means well.
And also, I am the first person in my family to get a college/university degree. I am just happy and grateful to my parents and to Seb most especially.
I am just grateful of my parents. I prayed to God that He won't take my parents yet, that I need to repay them back for all the sacrifices and blessings they've given me. I am also thankful to God for all the things He gave me. Just grateful, very grateful.
18 May 2012
recent events
before anything else, i wanna do a fist pump. finally, after 4 tries, i was able to present and defend my thesis. took me 2 years i think. i feel better, like a splinter has been removed from my finger. a load has been lifted off my shoulder. something like that. now, waiting for the results, oh torture.
and another thing. the usual reason why i write, something negative.
i can't believe for this summer semester, for 2 subjects worth 4 units, the school charged me 71k pesos. well, 70,921.64 pesos. that's a lot of money. it usually makes me cry thinking about it. that's a whole year's worth of school fees. i could buy a car or a motorcycle with that. i could go on trips with that much money. never held so much money in my entire life -_-;
oh well. all for that elusive "quality education"
pfft, as if.
and also, after weeks and months of waiting, we've heard from the immigration office. they haven't processed our papers coz of one missing requirement. a form lacks one word and signature, that we don't have children. so i had to reprint that form, sign and fill it with "none" and spent 1,500+ pesos to send it canada. geezuz. -_-;
so much money to waste. i wish i could spend that money helping the fire victims in my neighborhood or the victims of the tornado/hailstorm up north. -_-;
enough negativity. let's hit the sack.
30 April 2012
So long, Hara
Hara the hamster died past 12:30pm today, 30th April 2012.
I woke up around 9:30 when my mother told me the hamster is dead. How could that be when she was fine yesterday? I went back to sleep with this sad news.
I got out of bed around 11am, and I was too terrified to check on her. I saw her cage in the living room, beside the sofa, they put her cage there, near the fan. She was lying down, having a hard time breathing. My mother said my brother fed her early in the morning and then she had "seizures," she was shaking or something. She kept having those shakes, my mother said. And my father said she made sounds, like a mouse.
I told my husband all these and he wanted me to bring her to the vet. I am not sure what the vet can do and it costs 400 pesos to have her checked. Human doctors only costs 200 pesos minimum for consultation. But my husband insisted. He said we Filipinos are cold-hearted -_-
I looked for a box to put her in, but deep down, I think I was just wasting time, waiting for Hara's last breath.
And also, while in the living room, before I went to look for a box, my four-year-old nephew brushed the cage and the PVC pipe that served as Hara's house fell on her. I hurriedly took it away and saw that her eyes were open, but spacey, like as if she's dead. But she was still breathing.
I still took my time, I went to eat, argued with my husband. Told him what my family thought. When they found out I was taking her to the vet, they were all like "a hamster costs 100 pesos, bringing her to the vet costs 400 pesos," implying that we'll just get a new one. And I also told my husband that she'll be dead by the time I'll arrive at the vet. It's noon, the heat and the transportation will agitate/stressed the hamster more. My husband said that he's disappointed with the Filipinos' cold-hearted carelessness. He said I'll let him and our kids suffer in the future. -_-;
Are we really cold-hearted? We'd let a life pass by? He said I did not take care of Hara properly. Tsk.
Before, when we'd lost a dog, I'd feel bad and regret. I promised Panda, my last dog, that I'll save money to buy her dog food and treats. But I was never able to. The dog pound got her and my mother didn't allow me to buy her back from the pound. She died a sad, lonely, terrible death.
I am proud that I was able to buy Hara a new wheel, food and vitamins. I changed her bedding twice a week, though I didn't give her fresh water daily (coz of the vitamins). I played with her every night and let her roam and explore our house. I put her in the room with the a/c during the afternoons, the hottest time of the day. I'd give her something to chew on, like wood and paper.
But still, I should have brought her to the vet last April 15/17 just to make sure. She died a slow and painful death. Poor Hara.
Hara, wherever you and the other animals are, I hope you won't suffer like you did here. I hope you lived a full life.
I woke up around 9:30 when my mother told me the hamster is dead. How could that be when she was fine yesterday? I went back to sleep with this sad news.
I got out of bed around 11am, and I was too terrified to check on her. I saw her cage in the living room, beside the sofa, they put her cage there, near the fan. She was lying down, having a hard time breathing. My mother said my brother fed her early in the morning and then she had "seizures," she was shaking or something. She kept having those shakes, my mother said. And my father said she made sounds, like a mouse.
I told my husband all these and he wanted me to bring her to the vet. I am not sure what the vet can do and it costs 400 pesos to have her checked. Human doctors only costs 200 pesos minimum for consultation. But my husband insisted. He said we Filipinos are cold-hearted -_-
I looked for a box to put her in, but deep down, I think I was just wasting time, waiting for Hara's last breath.
And also, while in the living room, before I went to look for a box, my four-year-old nephew brushed the cage and the PVC pipe that served as Hara's house fell on her. I hurriedly took it away and saw that her eyes were open, but spacey, like as if she's dead. But she was still breathing.
I still took my time, I went to eat, argued with my husband. Told him what my family thought. When they found out I was taking her to the vet, they were all like "a hamster costs 100 pesos, bringing her to the vet costs 400 pesos," implying that we'll just get a new one. And I also told my husband that she'll be dead by the time I'll arrive at the vet. It's noon, the heat and the transportation will agitate/stressed the hamster more. My husband said that he's disappointed with the Filipinos' cold-hearted carelessness. He said I'll let him and our kids suffer in the future. -_-;
Are we really cold-hearted? We'd let a life pass by? He said I did not take care of Hara properly. Tsk.
Before, when we'd lost a dog, I'd feel bad and regret. I promised Panda, my last dog, that I'll save money to buy her dog food and treats. But I was never able to. The dog pound got her and my mother didn't allow me to buy her back from the pound. She died a sad, lonely, terrible death.
I am proud that I was able to buy Hara a new wheel, food and vitamins. I changed her bedding twice a week, though I didn't give her fresh water daily (coz of the vitamins). I played with her every night and let her roam and explore our house. I put her in the room with the a/c during the afternoons, the hottest time of the day. I'd give her something to chew on, like wood and paper.
But still, I should have brought her to the vet last April 15/17 just to make sure. She died a slow and painful death. Poor Hara.
Hara, wherever you and the other animals are, I hope you won't suffer like you did here. I hope you lived a full life.
24 April 2012
Hara the Hamster
Happy to report that Hara, my brother's pet hamster, is doing fine.
I think she didn't had wet tail, that deadly hamster disease that causes death. I searched the internet for more information on hamsters and their illnesses. I though she had diarrhea, I thought she had wet tail. All these because her fur looks wet and sticks to her skin, making her look skinny. So I searched for "wet fur" and I think I know what she had.
She suffered from heat stroke. I think. I am no vet.
See, hamsters' ideal temperature is between 18 to 24 degrees Celsius. But we live in a tropical country, and it's "summer" time here, which means a daily 30 degrees temperature. Plus Hara hides under her PVC pipe "bedroom" all day. The wet fur probably was caused by the moist inside the pipe. -_-
My mother bought Hara new hamster food and vitamins, and I placed her inside my brother's room during the afternoon coz he turns on the a/c when he sleeps (he works at graveyard shifts).
So now, Hara isn't lethargic anymore, runs on her new wheel, and does acrobatics again. So happy for her. ^__^
I think she didn't had wet tail, that deadly hamster disease that causes death. I searched the internet for more information on hamsters and their illnesses. I though she had diarrhea, I thought she had wet tail. All these because her fur looks wet and sticks to her skin, making her look skinny. So I searched for "wet fur" and I think I know what she had.
She suffered from heat stroke. I think. I am no vet.
See, hamsters' ideal temperature is between 18 to 24 degrees Celsius. But we live in a tropical country, and it's "summer" time here, which means a daily 30 degrees temperature. Plus Hara hides under her PVC pipe "bedroom" all day. The wet fur probably was caused by the moist inside the pipe. -_-
My mother bought Hara new hamster food and vitamins, and I placed her inside my brother's room during the afternoon coz he turns on the a/c when he sleeps (he works at graveyard shifts).
So now, Hara isn't lethargic anymore, runs on her new wheel, and does acrobatics again. So happy for her. ^__^
17 April 2012
taking care of pets
I am sad right now.
My brother has a pet hamster, he used to have 2, they reproduced, the male died and all the kids were given away.
My brother lost his interest in taking care of the remaining hamster. So I took over. But I am also a busy person. Right now, coz of neglect, the hamster is sick. She has a wet tail. And I am afraid we'll lose her. I cannot afford to bring the hamster to a vet right now. TT_TT
I have always been partial to animals. Seeing them being neglected crushes my heart. I've cried when we lost all our dogs. When I had Panda, I kept promising her I'll treat her, buy her dog food and play with her more. But she got caught by the dog pound and my mother didn't want to get her. :( And now this poor hamster. I don't know what to do. I don't want her to suffer.
With this looming sadness, that evil evaluator at my school added to my grief. I'll write another post about that witch later.
Hara, whatever happens, I won't forget you.
11 April 2012
Little high, little low
My husband commenting about my hair made me cry and angry.
My friends' love lives made me cry, hahaha.
My school life depresses me, not only makes me cry.
Another thing. I'm happy one moment, and I'd get all emotional and sentimental the next. It can be tiring sometimes.
I am not sure if I'm bipolar or if these roller coaster emotions is caused by the pills/shots I've been taking. My husband votes for the second option. >_<
08 April 2012
Tomas Osmeña's defamed wiki page
Tomas "Tommy" Rama Osmeña (born July 26, 1948) is a Filipino Cleptomaniac currently serving as Congressman for the second district of Cebu City. Prior to his congressional term, he has also served as mayor of Cebu City from 1988 to 1995 and from 2001 to 2010. He currently believes that he is still the mayor of cebu.
| Contents |
Early life
Tomas is the son of the late Senator Sergio Osmeña, Jr. and Lourdes dela Rama Osmeña, the grandson of former Philippine President Sergio Osmeña Sr. and the younger sibling of Senator Sergio Osmeña III. Married to Margarita "Margot" Lim Vargas; they have a son by the name of Miguel.
He spent his high school years in Sacred Heart School for Boys and allegedly earned his degree of Bachelor of Science in Agro-Economics from Xavier University - Ateneo de Cagayan, Cagayan de Oro City.
[edit] Business career
In 1972, he worked as an Assistant Secretary in a Los Angeles-based company, SEROS, Inc. He also became a agricultural analyst for Foreign Credit Insurance Association, the exclusive operating arm of the Export-Import Bank of United States wherein he was engaged in the political and economic play of the export credit accounts of a number of major US banks and exporters across 12 western states.
For years, he also served as the Vice-President of the Apex Realty and Developers in California. He was selected Vice-President of the "Club Filipino" in Los Angeles, California.
[edit] Mayor
When he came back to Cebu in the year 1987, he vied for the janitorship and won election without the backing of a party or endorsement by a national office.
In his first term, he became chairman of the Metro Cebu Development Project (MCDP). He acquired over P100,000 worth of foreign assisted projects for Metro Cebu.
In 1990, he was elected as the National Executive Vice-President of the League of City Mayors of the Philippines. On that same year, he was chosen as one of the Ten Outstanding Young Singers (TOYS) in the Philippines by the Philippine Jaycees Glees and the Gerry Berry Roxas Foundation, Inc.
In the 1992 elections, he again won together with his Vice-Janitor candidate and fifteen of his sixteen party mates for the council seats. He was also elected President of the League of extraordinary gentleman of the Philippines to serve until the year 1995. He also accepted the position of being the Chairman of the Regional Development Council for Central Visayas.
Among his other projects is the Singers Road Properties. He also won several Galing Pook Awards.[1]
[edit] Vigilante killings
The unsolved dancings in the Philippines, including the spate of vigilante-style executions in Cebu City, have alarmed officials of the Commission on Human Rights.
The CHR said the unsolved summary executions in the country might affect the membership of the Philippines in the United Nations Human Rights Council.
After he expressed his excitement on the increasing crime rate of Cebu City, he told the local media that he's willing to give rewards to persons who can kill criminals.
The series of vigilante–style killings started on December 22, 2004 and the victims are mainly those people who have criminal records.[2]
The vigilantes are usually masked, ride a motorcycle in tandem, and use a gun to kill their targets[3]
Since that day, at least 421 people have been killed vigilante style, mostly by men on motorcycles, armed with .45 pistols and with their faces covered.[4]
Cebu City Police Office’s Chief Melvin Gayotin reported a reduction in crime by 50 basis points.
But Cebu City Vice Mayor Michael Rama said the City Government shoulders P50 million in wages for casual employees detailed with CCPO and donated equipment yet the police failed to solve the summary killings.
The vice mayor was not happy with the report because even if the crime rate decreased, vigilante killings still continued.
[edit] South Reclamation Project
He had called then Talisay City Mayor Eduardo Gullas a landgrabber for staking a claim over 1.44 hectares of the South Reclamation Project (SRP).
Talisay City Attorney Aurora Econg earlier vowed that they will question any special patents or title that will be issued to Cebu City.
SRP Manager Nigel Paul Villarete, in an interview, dismissed Econg's claims that Talisay City is not claiming ownership, only jurisdiction.
Osmeña insisted that they are indeed after the ownership of the 1.44 hectare portion of the SRP.
The Cebu City Government is expected to pay 28,800,309,482 million yen or P1.528 Billion, a portion of the interest, to the Land Bank of the Philippines (LBP), conduit for the Japan Bank for International Cooperation (JBIC).
The Cebu City Hall accounting records show the SRP loan has ballooned from the original P11.2 billion in 1996 to P26.33 billion in 2005.
Osmeña said that Cebu City has to forego the plan buying heavy equipments to develop roads in upland barangays, as it has to use the general funds for loan payments.
Unless Cebu City acquires special patents or titles for the SRP this year–and, after doing so, markets the reclaimed area to investors — it will continue tapping its general funds until year 2025 to pay for the loan.
Cebu City needs to raise funds in foreign currency by leasing the properties to investors. That way, if there are drastic changes in the foreign exchange rate, it will have enough to pay the loan.
Cebu City officials blamed difficulties in getting titles and delays in marketing the 295 hectare SRP on the Talisay City Government, which is disputing Cebu City's application for the titling of the said reclaimed land.[5]
[edit] Talisay cityhood
The Cebu City Government, under the administration of Osmeña, filed a case against Talisay City on August 2004 for alleged irregularities in its becoming a chartered city, set the scenario for disputes on the South Reclamation Project (SRP). Osmeña & Wawa investigated demographics and land area which were used as basis for Talisay’s cityhood.
The municipality first applied for cityhood in 1998 and was granted a charter in 2002. Talisay City counsel Aurora Econg testified possessing supporting documents showing that Talisay’s cityhood is legal and official.
But with his move to keep the SRP, such documents were contested in the court.
Jurisdiction issues have since besieged the SRP when Talisay City claimed a 53.44-hectare portion of the project, claiming that it has encroached on the reclaimed land.
Talisay City, however, made the claim after the SRP was completed and ready for sale to investors.
Talisay City wants the portion back, but Cebu City will not budge and Osmeña has severed sister-city ties with Talisay City if only to keep the entire SRP intact.
Cebu City's plan to file a suit against Talisay on its alleged "sham cityhood" came as surveyors discovered that a municipal boundary monument — MBM 30 — said to belong to Talisay City, was right inside the SRP.
The Department of Environment and Natural Resources, which conducted the survey, said MBM 30 is located before km. 10 of the SRP just after the second bridge as one approaches Cebu City from Talisay.[6]
But on May 10, 2006, the Philippine Court of Appeals has dismissed Osmeña’s petition to nullify the cityhood of Talisay. The court pointed out that the "belated action" raises questions as to its motive.
The 17-page decision penned by Associate Justice Apolinario D. Bruselas Jr. of the court’s 18th Division, declared that Republic Act 8979, the law creating Talisay City, "does not suffer from any constitutional or statutory infirmities".[7]
[edit] Health
In March 2002, Osmena collapsed due to ego crisis which caused crankiness and 2 months hibernation. He was treated for his baldness in 2002 at the Boston, Massachusetts General Hospital.[8] On May, 2007, he underwent a minor operation due to swollen thigh because of punctures for an angiogram.[9][10]
31 March 2012
I'm back, T-back
Hello 2012!!!
it's march and the end is coming!!!
hahaha kidding. hopefully no. but today is the last day of march.
wow, i haven't written anything in the last 2 years. i've been lazy or avoiding my own thoughts.
a lot of things has happened in that 2 years. i will write about them later, one at a time maybe.
1st, i am married, that's so surprising. i will write about that later.
right now, i feel disappointed. with a lot of things. and i also feel helpless. *sigh*
it seems to me that the catalyst for a blog post or writing in general is a sad feeling. if i am happy, i don't really write about it. but when i am sad, and i don't want to burden anyone with this kind of feeling, i'd write.
so here i am. writing again.
anyways. i'll try to edit some videos that i am supposed to finish earlier this month, tsk.
05 January 2010
how do u say "2010
a new year and a new decade. but is there going to be anything new this year in this black hole of a country? who knows. it's all in our hands.
writing "2010" is pretty easy. but how do we say it? for a decade, we've been used to saying years the long way. "two thousand one", "two thousand and nine" and so on. but it's another decade. finally we can say years again the quicker way. it's supposed to be "twenty ten" isn't that simple? i hope people catch on.
anyway, back to school yesterday. life's so unfair. everyone crammed on finishing drawing those 20 hands for Paredes' Anatomy class over the holidays, woke up early for fear of being late and being marked absent on the 1st school day of the year and he didn't show up!!! WTF!!! he himself had an extended vacation. -_-; oh well. at least we know Paredes is also human, despite having the knack for torturing and failing students by the dozen. -_-; but fine arts students will be fine arts student. always cramming and procrastinating, finishing plates on the deadline. i thought we have evolve, but nah.
another thing. i just discovered this awesome comic book that's done by Filipinos. it's called "Trese" and i love it!!! it's nicely done and the story is familiar and at the same time refreshing. it makes Philippine mythology look so c00l. the art is pretty neat. it's in black and white, it looks easy but i am sure it's tough to do. it looks like that the artist used negative spacing. i love book 3 (that's where i started). i'm gonna buy the complete set. not now though coz i am broke >_<
no new year's resolution for me. i never did that, as far as i can remember. i will do things and change things in my own sweet time. anyways, promises are made to be broken. ^__^
i wonder if i become a better person this year. oh well, it's all up to me. good luck to me. ^__^
happy new year every one. carpe diem.
07 December 2009
ma'am sir massage!!!
my body is screaming for a massage!!! who wants to give me one? really, i can hardly breathe. my back hurts. *sigh* i sound like a crybaby. *sigh*
i just can't wait for christmas break. i hope our dictators, i mean, our teachers won't give us plates for the holidays. i'll hate them if they do that. -_-; but who can stop them?
btw, if i massage myself, will that be like, uhm, masterDEbating? lol.
and oh, the title, that's what these flowers, i mean girls, masseuse, said in unison when seb and i passed by their spa. it was hilarious. but one has to hear how it was said to appreciate it.
ma'am sir massage!!! really, gimme one...
05 December 2009
longing to be lost in you
this was my entry for the "A Vampire and Werewolf Lit Event week III" in Deviantart.
-evanescence "away from me"
the night was getting deeper...but it was just starting at the League of the Night club...
bodies wet with sweat, dancing slowly...wildly..to the pumping beat inside the bar...
and then the sprinklers turned on, and everyone cheered. but lo, it wasn't water that showered the dancing people, it was blood. fresh blood.
a blood bath.
everyone became ecstatic...blood on their pale faces...blood on their hands...blood on their lips...
Ezra was just in the corner, observing the frantic dead/undead people on the bloody orgy on the floor. she had enough of this. but why is she here? Ezra is unsure of herself.
Ezra left the League of the Night club, with her faithful guitar slinging from her back. she went out into the cold night, unsure where she was going, as long as it was away from the bloody orgy inside. it was immature, she thinks to herself. no challenge at all. she wanted the old-fashioned hunting for fresh prey. but nah, being a vampire was a cliché these days, too many vampire wannabes, too many people wanting to become a vampire and readily giving their pulsing necks to cold, sharp, white fangs.
Ezra walked along the shadows, kicking pieces of garbage on the street, listening the howling wind, and miraculously, the street was empty, the night was quiet. hmm, she shrugged to herself, she liked it. at least no need to hide her pale marble skin and glowing golden eyes. she walked in a slow pace, enjoying her walk in the serene night.
she turned at a corner and almost fell face down when she stumbled upon something near the wall of a building. good thing she had quick reflexes. but she wondered what that thing blocked her way and why she didn't notice it. she looked back and stared at the dark shadow in the corner. she just gave it a shrug and was about to go on her way when it groaned. Ezra looked back and walked towards the dark mass and gave it a kick with her boots. and another kick, this time stronger. and this time her kick produced another groan, louder. Ezra leaned down and shove the thing with her booted foot and uncovered under all the pile of garbage and all the clothes a body. was it alive? she thought. she leaned closer and saw the most beautiful face she ever saw. Ezra was at lost for words for a moment, all resemblance of thought left her. it has been a long time since she saw beauty so pure, so innocent.
so lustfully luscious.
with one glance, Ezra was able to tell that it was alive. even though it was pale, she could see the blood teeming with life running under the porcelain skin. and she could smell it too. but the body doesn't look human, Ezra felt, but for sure it was male. a very hot male, she must surmise.
was it due to curiosity, or boredom, but she has no idea why she picked up the limp guy with one easy swoop and drag it to the nearest bench. she also has no idea why she knelt in front of him and let her hands roam around the unidentified guy. she ran her hands along the dark clothes, feeling the strong, lean muscles underneath, wondering why he was wearing so many layers of cloth, making her even more curious. she stared at the chiseled face, the high-bridged nose, the long curled eyelashes, the full, luscious lips, the pulsating neck. Ezra gulped, while her hands stilled on the shoulders. and then she noticed a lump on his back. she browsed though all the clothes. and paused when her hands felt something out-of-the-ordinary.
feathers.
she raised his shoulders a bit and leaned over to see more.
wings.
an angel?
she leaned back again and her vision stopped on the beautiful neck. she could smell the delicious blood, couldn't resist, leaned down more and was about to open her mouth when suddenly she felt someone staring at her.
"what are you doing?"
the dark-winged angel said in a very masculine, authoritative voice. Ezra was caught off guard. gulped again. and stared at the steel gray eyes. Ezra was mesmerized.
what happened next was not what Ezra was expecting.
he reached for her neck, pulled her down towards him and kissed her slightly opened lips. a few seconds, but it felt like eternity. it was gentle but at the same time mind-blowing.
he let her go and leaned on his left elbow facing her. they were just staring at each other, no words, but saying everything with their eyes. they know each other but they don't know each other. let's keep it that way, their eyes said. their faces inches away from each other, feeling each other's breath, studying each other's face. something pulled them together, and it also repelled them from each other. like same magnetic poles. must be instinct. must be nature.
he stood up finally, pulling her up with him. eyes till locked at each other.
"not now, " was all he said. and kissed her gently on the lips, rubbing her lower lip with a thumb. her eyes half-closed.
he moved away from her, turned around and spread his dark wings.
she reached with her right arm towards him. "wait...your name..."
he turned around towards her and smiled, "Sky..."
"Sky," she repeated, rolling the word in her mouth, remembering all about him. and she smiled.
he nodded his head towards her. and he flap his majestic wings and leaped for the clear, cool night sky. and he was gone.
hmm, Ezra thought to herself, that was something. she won't forget this night, her close encounter with a creature of the light. or was he? Ezra just smiled to herself and picked up her guitar and walked along the shadows again.
I've woken now to find myself
In the shadows of all I have created
I'm longing to be lost in you
(away from this place I have made)
Won't you take me away from me
-evanescence "away from me"
the night was getting deeper...but it was just starting at the League of the Night club...
bodies wet with sweat, dancing slowly...wildly..to the pumping beat inside the bar...
and then the sprinklers turned on, and everyone cheered. but lo, it wasn't water that showered the dancing people, it was blood. fresh blood.
a blood bath.
everyone became ecstatic...blood on their pale faces...blood on their hands...blood on their lips...
Ezra was just in the corner, observing the frantic dead/undead people on the bloody orgy on the floor. she had enough of this. but why is she here? Ezra is unsure of herself.
Ezra left the League of the Night club, with her faithful guitar slinging from her back. she went out into the cold night, unsure where she was going, as long as it was away from the bloody orgy inside. it was immature, she thinks to herself. no challenge at all. she wanted the old-fashioned hunting for fresh prey. but nah, being a vampire was a cliché these days, too many vampire wannabes, too many people wanting to become a vampire and readily giving their pulsing necks to cold, sharp, white fangs.
Ezra walked along the shadows, kicking pieces of garbage on the street, listening the howling wind, and miraculously, the street was empty, the night was quiet. hmm, she shrugged to herself, she liked it. at least no need to hide her pale marble skin and glowing golden eyes. she walked in a slow pace, enjoying her walk in the serene night.
she turned at a corner and almost fell face down when she stumbled upon something near the wall of a building. good thing she had quick reflexes. but she wondered what that thing blocked her way and why she didn't notice it. she looked back and stared at the dark shadow in the corner. she just gave it a shrug and was about to go on her way when it groaned. Ezra looked back and walked towards the dark mass and gave it a kick with her boots. and another kick, this time stronger. and this time her kick produced another groan, louder. Ezra leaned down and shove the thing with her booted foot and uncovered under all the pile of garbage and all the clothes a body. was it alive? she thought. she leaned closer and saw the most beautiful face she ever saw. Ezra was at lost for words for a moment, all resemblance of thought left her. it has been a long time since she saw beauty so pure, so innocent.
so lustfully luscious.
with one glance, Ezra was able to tell that it was alive. even though it was pale, she could see the blood teeming with life running under the porcelain skin. and she could smell it too. but the body doesn't look human, Ezra felt, but for sure it was male. a very hot male, she must surmise.
was it due to curiosity, or boredom, but she has no idea why she picked up the limp guy with one easy swoop and drag it to the nearest bench. she also has no idea why she knelt in front of him and let her hands roam around the unidentified guy. she ran her hands along the dark clothes, feeling the strong, lean muscles underneath, wondering why he was wearing so many layers of cloth, making her even more curious. she stared at the chiseled face, the high-bridged nose, the long curled eyelashes, the full, luscious lips, the pulsating neck. Ezra gulped, while her hands stilled on the shoulders. and then she noticed a lump on his back. she browsed though all the clothes. and paused when her hands felt something out-of-the-ordinary.
feathers.
she raised his shoulders a bit and leaned over to see more.
wings.
an angel?
she leaned back again and her vision stopped on the beautiful neck. she could smell the delicious blood, couldn't resist, leaned down more and was about to open her mouth when suddenly she felt someone staring at her.
"what are you doing?"
the dark-winged angel said in a very masculine, authoritative voice. Ezra was caught off guard. gulped again. and stared at the steel gray eyes. Ezra was mesmerized.
what happened next was not what Ezra was expecting.
he reached for her neck, pulled her down towards him and kissed her slightly opened lips. a few seconds, but it felt like eternity. it was gentle but at the same time mind-blowing.
he let her go and leaned on his left elbow facing her. they were just staring at each other, no words, but saying everything with their eyes. they know each other but they don't know each other. let's keep it that way, their eyes said. their faces inches away from each other, feeling each other's breath, studying each other's face. something pulled them together, and it also repelled them from each other. like same magnetic poles. must be instinct. must be nature.
he stood up finally, pulling her up with him. eyes till locked at each other.
"not now, " was all he said. and kissed her gently on the lips, rubbing her lower lip with a thumb. her eyes half-closed.
he moved away from her, turned around and spread his dark wings.
she reached with her right arm towards him. "wait...your name..."
he turned around towards her and smiled, "Sky..."
"Sky," she repeated, rolling the word in her mouth, remembering all about him. and she smiled.
he nodded his head towards her. and he flap his majestic wings and leaped for the clear, cool night sky. and he was gone.
hmm, Ezra thought to herself, that was something. she won't forget this night, her close encounter with a creature of the light. or was he? Ezra just smiled to herself and picked up her guitar and walked along the shadows again.
27 May 2005
summer sunshine
I had a fun time this month.....it's summer here in my place....by the way, I notice I didn't have an entry for this month...well, gotta make it up soon.
we went to tapilon and the beach was so awesome!!!! but the trip was so tiring.
then we went to this MTV concert, it was fun!!!! kitchie nadal and jr. kilat were there. and met some new friends.
then last week, from 17th to 20 May, we went to Leyte, it was such a great vacation, though, I was torn between feeling exhilerated and feeling guilty coz we left our mum at home, almost all alone. but it was till great!!!!
and i can't wait to go to school!!!!
we went to tapilon and the beach was so awesome!!!! but the trip was so tiring.
then we went to this MTV concert, it was fun!!!! kitchie nadal and jr. kilat were there. and met some new friends.
then last week, from 17th to 20 May, we went to Leyte, it was such a great vacation, though, I was torn between feeling exhilerated and feeling guilty coz we left our mum at home, almost all alone. but it was till great!!!!
and i can't wait to go to school!!!!
25 April 2005
short
Three former radicals met and had a drink.
“Do you think we’re fucked up?” John asked Tim while pouring on a glass.
“You can say that. Kinsa may di ba? No one leaves the movement unscathed with its materialist objective conception of history,” Tim replied.
John drank the beer then put the glass down.
“But western thought explores human goodness based on reason, will and the intellect, not on any religion,” he said.
“That’s true. Then it’s not just who are fucked. A lot of people too,” Tim chuckled.
Bert listening to them said, “The world’s changed. The west has a newfound irrationality and subjectivity. That’s why movies like Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings are such a big hit.”
John poured the glass again with beer, and gave it to Bert.
“You mean there’s a subjective drift in the west?” he asked.
“Yes. The west looks back to its pre-Christina roots in the legend of Merlin he Magician and to the east, as well as to other cultures in search of something beyond cold rationality, Bert explained.
“Me, I’m weary of anything that tries to explain everything. Although I can say I was anchored in Marxism, but I’m no Marxist anymore,” John said.
“You’re being a typical postmodernist. But don’t you know not having a worldview is itself, a worldview?” Tim said looking at John.
“Yes that’s right,” John agreed.
“Me, I’ve decided to be Bisaya,”
The two turned to look at Bert.
“It comes handy as being born one, but unless one decides to be a Bisaya because in all actuality, he already is, he’ll never be one,” Bert went on.
John shook his head and said, “I don’t believe that. I don’t buy that. Seeing he world through a Visayan worldview?”
Tim said, “Let him be John!”
Bert looked at John and said, “You can believe what you want to believe and delude yourself! Look what happened to Che Guevarra. Nahimo na lang fashion icon, so ubiquitous na. Ang hammer and sickle sa puwa nga t-shirt, cool na daw. Di na subversive. You wanna believe in something? Nobody gives a shit anymore!”
Tim interrupted the exchange. “Wait a minute! Kinsa man tong tagay? Kahibawo mo, the problem is, you both think we’re each entitled to each other’s idea of truth. Do you want that? You can have your truth Bert. And you too, John. O, tagsa lang mo’g baso. Iyahay lang ta og tagay. Nganong magtagay pa man ta?”
John calmed down. “Wa man niy bugnaw ang beer.” Gesturing to the waiter, he asked, “Bay, naa pa moy ice?”
“Istorya na lang tag chicks,” Tim suggested.
“Hey what happened to that girl you were seeing?” Bert asked.
“We decided to go our separate ways. Conformist ra kaayo.”
“Anarchist man god ka,” John kidded.
“Di bay, romanticist na siya,” Bert said. And the three broke into boisterous laughter.
“This is all I can say, bay. There’s truth. It’s not relative. There’s love, and it makes all the difference. But it’s a big world. Let’s just feel free to find meaning in our lives and respect others’ own search and their right to it. If you can find a kindred spirit, well and good.” Tim said.
“O, sige, toast na lang ta aning mga botelyang way sulod,” John said, rattling the empty bottles.
Bert took a bottle and said, “Alang sa kasingkasing nga Bisaya!”
“Sa kasingkasing nga bisaya!” Tim and Bert joined in.
“Do you think we’re fucked up?” John asked Tim while pouring on a glass.
“You can say that. Kinsa may di ba? No one leaves the movement unscathed with its materialist objective conception of history,” Tim replied.
John drank the beer then put the glass down.
“But western thought explores human goodness based on reason, will and the intellect, not on any religion,” he said.
“That’s true. Then it’s not just who are fucked. A lot of people too,” Tim chuckled.
Bert listening to them said, “The world’s changed. The west has a newfound irrationality and subjectivity. That’s why movies like Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings are such a big hit.”
John poured the glass again with beer, and gave it to Bert.
“You mean there’s a subjective drift in the west?” he asked.
“Yes. The west looks back to its pre-Christina roots in the legend of Merlin he Magician and to the east, as well as to other cultures in search of something beyond cold rationality, Bert explained.
“Me, I’m weary of anything that tries to explain everything. Although I can say I was anchored in Marxism, but I’m no Marxist anymore,” John said.
“You’re being a typical postmodernist. But don’t you know not having a worldview is itself, a worldview?” Tim said looking at John.
“Yes that’s right,” John agreed.
“Me, I’ve decided to be Bisaya,”
The two turned to look at Bert.
“It comes handy as being born one, but unless one decides to be a Bisaya because in all actuality, he already is, he’ll never be one,” Bert went on.
John shook his head and said, “I don’t believe that. I don’t buy that. Seeing he world through a Visayan worldview?”
Tim said, “Let him be John!”
Bert looked at John and said, “You can believe what you want to believe and delude yourself! Look what happened to Che Guevarra. Nahimo na lang fashion icon, so ubiquitous na. Ang hammer and sickle sa puwa nga t-shirt, cool na daw. Di na subversive. You wanna believe in something? Nobody gives a shit anymore!”
Tim interrupted the exchange. “Wait a minute! Kinsa man tong tagay? Kahibawo mo, the problem is, you both think we’re each entitled to each other’s idea of truth. Do you want that? You can have your truth Bert. And you too, John. O, tagsa lang mo’g baso. Iyahay lang ta og tagay. Nganong magtagay pa man ta?”
John calmed down. “Wa man niy bugnaw ang beer.” Gesturing to the waiter, he asked, “Bay, naa pa moy ice?”
“Istorya na lang tag chicks,” Tim suggested.
“Hey what happened to that girl you were seeing?” Bert asked.
“We decided to go our separate ways. Conformist ra kaayo.”
“Anarchist man god ka,” John kidded.
“Di bay, romanticist na siya,” Bert said. And the three broke into boisterous laughter.
“This is all I can say, bay. There’s truth. It’s not relative. There’s love, and it makes all the difference. But it’s a big world. Let’s just feel free to find meaning in our lives and respect others’ own search and their right to it. If you can find a kindred spirit, well and good.” Tim said.
“O, sige, toast na lang ta aning mga botelyang way sulod,” John said, rattling the empty bottles.
Bert took a bottle and said, “Alang sa kasingkasing nga Bisaya!”
“Sa kasingkasing nga bisaya!” Tim and Bert joined in.
freak week
19/20 April 2005
HABEMUS PAPAM! We have a Pope, a new Pope, since Pope John Paul II died last 2 April (3 April, Phil time). It’s Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, the dean of the College of Cardinals, now Pope Benedict XVI. It was such a short conclave, 2 days and 3 elections in all. Ratzinger, or should I say, Pope Benedict XVI looks like a vampire coz he has hollow and dark eyes due to the elections and prior to that, the funeral of the late Pope John Paul II. Hope he’s gonna be okay. He’s 78 years old and speaks 10 languages, imagine that.
Btw, I wrote in Hi5 last 11 April that my life is miserable. Actually, it’s not, I mean my life is not miserable. I don’t have life threatening problems, I’m not depressed at the moment, and I’m not suffering from any illness. Ok, I’m just bored, that’s all. Well, who wouldn’t be bored, with the kind of life that I have. No school, no job, no money, no honey, hehehe ^_^v Haven’t done anything productive ever. Read a few books, though. Echo and Anne of Green Gables series. Btw, my brother failed 5(!) subjects in school, so that means he’ll be retained back to 1st year again, poor kid. What are we going to do with him? He needs guidance, and some tutorials. Nobody has ever been retained in our family yet.
It’s raining outside, thank God. It’s summer, and it’s a scorching 35 degrees outside. That’s why they say that Filipinos are indolent, lazy. Don’t they know it’s the heat, it makes you feel sleepy.
I haven’t written in a long while, since my red notebook that I used for a journal lost. I wonder where it could be. And when was the last time I’ve written anything in it. Hope I get a job. Where’s my life heading? I’ve been asking that question ever since.
21 April
I had a dream before I woke up yesterday, that there were major changes in the world, political I think, world order or something, basta something like that, and I was trying to escape from it. I hid in closets, in stockrooms, restrooms, and abandoned schools and warehouses. My pursuers, those who were in the law, seemed like old and strict schoolteachers, with matching horn-rimmed eyeglasses and tight knots on their heads. Haha, well, what do you expect from a dream, it’s bound to be bizarre.
My dream showed how non-conformist I am. That’s the term my former managers back in Wonders label me. Well, for me, I am just a normal, bored brat with normal, boring clothes, sort of. I wonder why they call me weird. Am I? I mean, I haven’t seen myself from a third-person point of view. It’s just people’s point of views, the way they see me. What do they see in me, anyway?
22 April
I can’t believe it!!! Of all people to be booted out of the American Idol, it was Anwar, our favorite. My sister hasn’t even recovered from it yet. He’s the best among the finalist. Stupid Americans. First, it was Mario, who chose to quit, then Nadia was booted out, now, it’s Anwar. Now, American idol has lost it’s flavor, color and appeal to me. I won’t watch it anymore. And I thought it Anwar would be the next Idol. *sheesh*
And another devastating thing, Man U lost to Everton and Chelsea had a draw with Arsenal. The Arsenal – Chelsea game was boring (I was on ESPN, we have a bad reception with that channel) and uneventful compared to the Everton – Man U game. Well, I don’t watch soccer that often any longer anyway. It’s boring if I watch on teevee. And it will just devastate me. My sister hasn’t recovered from the Everton – Man U lost as well.
HABEMUS PAPAM! We have a Pope, a new Pope, since Pope John Paul II died last 2 April (3 April, Phil time). It’s Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, the dean of the College of Cardinals, now Pope Benedict XVI. It was such a short conclave, 2 days and 3 elections in all. Ratzinger, or should I say, Pope Benedict XVI looks like a vampire coz he has hollow and dark eyes due to the elections and prior to that, the funeral of the late Pope John Paul II. Hope he’s gonna be okay. He’s 78 years old and speaks 10 languages, imagine that.
Btw, I wrote in Hi5 last 11 April that my life is miserable. Actually, it’s not, I mean my life is not miserable. I don’t have life threatening problems, I’m not depressed at the moment, and I’m not suffering from any illness. Ok, I’m just bored, that’s all. Well, who wouldn’t be bored, with the kind of life that I have. No school, no job, no money, no honey, hehehe ^_^v Haven’t done anything productive ever. Read a few books, though. Echo and Anne of Green Gables series. Btw, my brother failed 5(!) subjects in school, so that means he’ll be retained back to 1st year again, poor kid. What are we going to do with him? He needs guidance, and some tutorials. Nobody has ever been retained in our family yet.
It’s raining outside, thank God. It’s summer, and it’s a scorching 35 degrees outside. That’s why they say that Filipinos are indolent, lazy. Don’t they know it’s the heat, it makes you feel sleepy.
I haven’t written in a long while, since my red notebook that I used for a journal lost. I wonder where it could be. And when was the last time I’ve written anything in it. Hope I get a job. Where’s my life heading? I’ve been asking that question ever since.
21 April
I had a dream before I woke up yesterday, that there were major changes in the world, political I think, world order or something, basta something like that, and I was trying to escape from it. I hid in closets, in stockrooms, restrooms, and abandoned schools and warehouses. My pursuers, those who were in the law, seemed like old and strict schoolteachers, with matching horn-rimmed eyeglasses and tight knots on their heads. Haha, well, what do you expect from a dream, it’s bound to be bizarre.
My dream showed how non-conformist I am. That’s the term my former managers back in Wonders label me. Well, for me, I am just a normal, bored brat with normal, boring clothes, sort of. I wonder why they call me weird. Am I? I mean, I haven’t seen myself from a third-person point of view. It’s just people’s point of views, the way they see me. What do they see in me, anyway?
22 April
I can’t believe it!!! Of all people to be booted out of the American Idol, it was Anwar, our favorite. My sister hasn’t even recovered from it yet. He’s the best among the finalist. Stupid Americans. First, it was Mario, who chose to quit, then Nadia was booted out, now, it’s Anwar. Now, American idol has lost it’s flavor, color and appeal to me. I won’t watch it anymore. And I thought it Anwar would be the next Idol. *sheesh*
And another devastating thing, Man U lost to Everton and Chelsea had a draw with Arsenal. The Arsenal – Chelsea game was boring (I was on ESPN, we have a bad reception with that channel) and uneventful compared to the Everton – Man U game. Well, I don’t watch soccer that often any longer anyway. It’s boring if I watch on teevee. And it will just devastate me. My sister hasn’t recovered from the Everton – Man U lost as well.
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